Tar N Feather

Cursing as they went, the mobbers who had seized Joseph were swearing to kill him
if he resisted. One man grabbed him by the throat until he lost consciousness from
lack of breath. He came to only to overhear part of their counsel as to whether he
should be murdered. It was determined that for now he would simply be stripped naked,
beaten senseless, tarred and feathered, and left to fend for himself in the bitter March
night.

Stripped of his clothing, fighting off fists and tar paddles on every side, and resisting a
vial of some liquid, perhaps poison, which he shattered with his teeth as it was forced
into his mouth, he miraculously managed to fight off the entire mob and eventually
made his way back to the house. In the dim light his wife thought the tar stains
covering his body were blood stains, and she fainted at the sight. Friends spent the
entire night scraping and removing the tar and applying liniments to his scratched and
battered body. I now quote directly from the Prophet Joseph's record:

"By morning I was ready to be clothed again. This being the Sabbath morning, the
people assembled for meeting at the usual hour of worship, and among them came
also the mobbers [of the night before, whom he then names]. With my flesh all scarified
and defaced, I preached to the congregation as usual, and in the afternoon of the same
day baptized three individuals." (History of the Church 1:264.)

- Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Bitter Cup and the Bloody Baptism", from On Earth as it is in
Heaven, pp. 157-9

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he
asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, " I am a little worried
about you getting so nervous on the pulpit. "Do what I do".... I put a glass of vodka
next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he
took the monsignor's advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to
talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note
on the door:

Dear "Howard",

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his Ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late "J.C."

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as "Daddy, Junior and the
Spook."

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was
stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for
it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"

12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with her Cherry,"

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
grub", ......yeah God!

The Only thing you got right was....There will be a "Peter Pulling" Contest at
St.Taffy's ...with boys for toys, not toys for boys!

Hi & Welcome..

This site is strictley for sattire and is not endorsed or sponsored by any group
or entity. It is strictly the opinion and thoughts of one individual. Some of you
may find its contents appalling, but than - so is molesting and sexually abusing
children. I am simply excercising my freedom of speech.

Some of you may
condone the Actions of
a "few" (actually
several hundred, no
wait that took a minute
to type, No...now there
are over a Thousand,
Sick perverted Ba&%
tards, ministers of God
who feel that someone
like me is being unfair.
And the numbers are
climbing.*

Why..?

Conspiracy

Fraud

Manipulation

Molestation

Lewd Behavior

Rape

Sodomy

Secret Settlements

Drugs

Booze

Inflicting Pain

Alcohol

Depositions

Pedophilia

Homosexual

Condone

Boy Love

Oral Sex

Threats

Intimidation

Betrayal

Gay Agendas

Intercourse

Child Abuse

..................

This is the Direction
the Catholic Church is
looking for..?

....................

When was the last
time you saw a News
article with out any of
these words..?

......................

The Catholic CHurch
has sinned against all
of its believers.

*Try to keep in mind that
approximately only 5-
8% of victims actually
come forward, and
Pediphiles prey on
many victims through
out there lifetime. The
numbers in some
cases have gone over a
hundred.Given the
Number of Known
Priests that have been
involved and these
statistics...it would be
safe to say that my
voice is only one, out of
a possible 125,000
victims of just the
Catholic Church.

Overall , in excess of:

1,000,000,000
Victims!

I am one voice, and yes a
Victim.